A Little Ray of Sunshine

- Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I met a girl last night, I think her name was Tina. If fate allows I would love to see her again. She just has something about her. She is so deep and has so much emotion. She is a truly inspiring person. It is like she opens herself up 100% to life's energy and now just needs to have faith in the information that this energy brings.

She lives her heart on her sleeve. She just doesn't take safety measures. She rolls the dice and has no walls to fear or pain. She is just so open and as such is empowering to be around. In being open she is not rejecting others and is letting people inside. Her eyes are so clear and bright and reflect hope and faith.

Tina is a girl who has been attending a positive thinking class that I have taken. The class commenced 4 weeks ago and finished last night. From the first night her presence was captivating to me. She is a very attractive woman but I suspect this is not what has most drawn me to her. She just has an aura about her, a calming beauty that it is very powerful.

Throughout the 4 weeks we all were asked about our week and how the classes were affecting our moods. Tina was always very open and honest about how hard it was for her to attend. That she is going through a tough period of her life and was not coping too well. However whenever she spoke of her pain she was always positive in her mood. She was surrendering to her emotions and openly asking for help. I and I believe most of the class felt connected to Tina.

I too would talk of highs and lows depending upon the week I had experienced. However I feel that I would still have had some walls up. I would still guard my ego for fear of judgement. Another gentleman in the class seemed to be struggling with his life aswell. Like Tina each week he seemed to have some pain. However he had anger each week and gave off an energy like he was a victim to life. That he was being wronged and wanted us all to know. I felt disconnected from this gentleman and felt a little guilty for this feeling.

I think that many in our class also judged this gentleman a little. That he is an angry man who is creating much of his own angst. I am sure the others in the class would not feel good for this judgement. The gentleman deserves our compassion and help just as much as Tina does. However his front of anger did push us away.. We are human and do react to the moods of others.

If only we could all be like Tina. To live life and take on all of the highs and the lows. To then admit our confusion and our struggles. To maintain the child's wondrous eyes in the face of life's experiences. If we could be like Tina we could all help each other by sharing our experiences and jointly searching for answers. To do so as equals fully open to others.. to openly admit that we are not strong and perfect but that we would one day love to be emotionally strong and at peace.

I am not sure if I will ever see Tina again but I think I have already gained the lesson I was searching for. The class has been very fulfilling but Tina has been my true inspiration. A beautiful energy who is prepared to fully face life's highs and lows. A person who rolls with the ebs and flows and stays true to her heart. A person who is prepared to go outside of the comfort zone and report back to everyone. To share her life and trust in others to help.

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