How good we feel about life is related to how we interact with others and our perceived position in life. If we stop stressing about our looks and status we stop judging ourselves up against others. We become far less self absorbed and give and receive energy freely.
The energy I talk of is our vitality for life. I believe that we all exchange energy between us. Whether this energy is positive or negative depends upon the state of our mind. If our minds are free from stress and cluttered thought we give off a positive energy.People who give off positive energy are most likely to receive positive energy from others.
If our minds are lost in thought and not focused on the moment we close off our energy and/or attention from others. The people we interact with can feel this closed energy and usually react negatively. After all most people want to feel that others view them with attention and respect. People who are continually lost in stress starve themselves of positive energy. They become self absorbed in their problems and are blinded to the people and events of their lives.
I have always experienced bouts of self doubt. My insecurities as an only child manifested themselves into a perceived need to compete and impress and be better than others. Of course all I was looking for was the approval of others. I didn't really want to be better than everyone else I just wanted affection, love, approval. To be normal I suppose. However my quest to be better dominated my conscious mind and I became focussed on my looks and standing or status in the community. As such I wasn't open to people, the very people that I was wanting approval from.
In this state of mind I also prioritised certain people and without meaning to put them on pedestals. With some I would be scared to just be me and I was highly reactive to their actions and moods. I didn't give these people the true respect they deserved. I should have given them me. The same with people who I didn't place on my pedestal of life. I used to be oblivious to them and once again not be me. I used to be superior to a point, oblivious to their talents and gifts. Either way I was ranking myself either above or below people in my life.
I have read where people such as Christopher Reeves found themselves only after they lost everything that they thought made them who they were. I too found this one day. I had lost the woman who I thought was my soul mate and I hit rock bottom. At this point I lost dependency on my looks, my job, my status. At this point I realised that the only thing I had of value was my heart. With no ego I found that I did see everyone as important.
On this day everyone who I had contact with was equally important to me. I was not hanging out for a call from my soul mate or from my mother or from a lucrative client. I just wanted to connect with anybody and everybody. What I found was that on this day I felt happier and more self empowered than in any other time of my life. By not being self absorbed I found that I received more power than in any other time of my life. By being open to everyone I was allowing them to feel warmth in me. We are all looking for love and if we see love everywhere and in everyone we are all the victors. Life should not be a competition and the sooner we see each other as connected the quicker we can jointly help each other to find peace.