Fear School

Tony Ryan - Wednesday, May 25, 2005

On a recent phone conversation with my mother the topic of fear came up. This is not unusual as it is a constant source of discussion between us. Recently one of Mum's brothers had mentioned to my mother that I had referred to my parents as alcoholics.

In particular my father was very upset and angry about this. It had really hurt his heart to think that his only son had spread such a rumour. In reality I had not said this and do not think of my parents as alcoholics.

My uncle does not possess a very warm personality and has had much instability in his life thus far. I believe he is highly sensitive and has a deep heart but is very closed to feeling his emotions. Most in the family are scared to talk calmly to him about his manner and instead hold resentment and talk behind his back.

On hearing the report of what I had said about my parents I suggested to Mum that I would call her brother to make him aware of the hurt he had caused my father with his comments. Mum was horrified about my doing this and demanded that I not call her brother. That it would just upset him.

Today we touched on the topic again and I asked Mum if she felt her brother had any fear in his motives for passing on the story. Mum said initially that he didn't but then admitted that her brother is unaware of his fear. As an unaware person I believe he will continue to spread and draw fear and will learn, albeit unconsciously.

Do we need to learn unconsciously from life or not? At some point I believe we have to become conscious or we will slowly kill ourselves. We will draw so much pain and fear that it will all get too much to handle. If we were aware of our own fears and the affect it has on others we would stop reacting to our own fear and the fear of others. We would begin to become creative with our life's experiences.

Once we were aware of our fear and actions we would begin to teach each other consciously to live peacefully and happily. There is no right or wrong way to learn but I believe it is important to know the choices available. I believe that we can have a hand in fate. Our choices affect ourselves and others and each others emotional energies.

If my Mum takes on her brothers fear and reacts to the next person then she is spreading the fear. She is passing on a very unconscious lesson to others in her path. However if she stops and goes deep enough to realise her brother's fear then she has taken a conscious step. If she makes her brother aware of his fear then she is helping her brother to help himself. She is helping him to not experience the pain that fear can bring.

Fear is a teacher but it doesn't necessarily need to be through pain. If we consciously accept that we have fear this is a great first step. If we then honour this fear and learn from it we are taking a big second step. If we are aware of fear in each other and help each other to see it then we are continuing with our steps to a brighter future. A future where we continually evolve and learn but without pain.

I was just listening to a U2 song and one of the lyrics said 'sometimes you can not make it on your own' This got me thin king about our relationships to each other. I believe that we do need each other to remind each other who we really are. In a mythology sense it is I believe why God created another. How could he know he was perfect unless there was someone else to notice when he wasn't acting true?

On a world scale I look at the way we teach each other as very important to our way of life. If we continue to act unconsciously we will hurt each other continually. Unless some of us decide to become conscious of this fear then our world as we know it is in big trouble. Unless some one can learn from the fear and pain then we are all going to lose faith in this life. Like an individual who cannot cope and takes their life we will self destruct our earthly existence.

Lets get together and look at the fear and pain in our lives. Lets embrace all of our lifes experiences and learn the wisdom. God has given us life as a gift. There is much we have not understood and much that we still do not understand. Many of us have even lost faith in the gift. We even blame fate or God for our hurt and pain. Lets reclaim the gift and have faith in a higher power.

In having faith in a higher power lets reclaim faith in ourselves. Lets search our emotions for the wisdom of all our lives. Lets not fear each other. Lets help each other to learn. We have accumulated so much experience and there is much wisdom to learn. Lets rejoice in ourselves and embrace all of our emotions, good bad or indifferent and see them for the perfection and purity that they can be.

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