Self Absorption Disease

Tony Ryan - Friday, December 18, 2009

I find that people consistently are unreliable and at times manipulative in my business and personal dealings. Over my life this has greatly affected me and I have often become instictively cold as soon as I feel cheated or disrespected. These days whilst I still get hurt I honour the hurt and search the siutation at depth.

The latest incident was with the local mechanic I use. I booked the car in for 9-9.30 am and arrived at 9 only to find that his shop was all locked up. When he did arrive at 9.45 he was very ambivalent about the situation. I have also found with this mechanic and almost every other one I have used that their work lacks attention to detail and any degree of passion or pride. This is not just mechanics as I also find that big business like the various service providers are also less than thorough and honest in the services they provide.

I believe at a deep level that society conditions us to not trust each other and to struggle with life. That this has us become victims to life and self absorbed in the unconscious desperation to survive, compete and protect. Whilst individuals or organisations stay unconscious in this lack of trust we will continue to manipulate eachother when we are under any sort of pressure. Further given how self absorbed we are most things in life seem to be a pressure.

I wrote a text to a friend a while back and it seems very apt for this piece of writing.We are all equal in heart. In certain situations or aspects of life one person may be superior in ability or strength. In these circumstances especially we must remember equality and not misuse our situational power as this is how pedestals, need and dependancy creeps in. You can only hurt another when you forget this in my opinion. In the situation with the mechanic he knows cars and I don’t. However I go to him for his expertise yet in life as it stands it is hard to trust a mechanic or a telecommunications company or even a romantic partner. The way society promotes life individuals and businesses often manipulate others if they can get away with it. Further in schools and in life in general many of us bully those who seem weaker or less gifted. What we don’t realise is that all of this hurts all of us. If one hurts we all hurt on a deeper level.

The best solution to what I see as a great issue is TRANSPARENCY IN COMMUNICATION. To promote in our individual lives and on a society level full honesty and humility. The reason we don’t trust and people abuse trust is that most of us are self absorbed in the pain and struggle that we feel we live under. However so few go deep inside of themselves to honour the pain. Instead we just carry it and it weighs us down and promotes a lack of passion for life and a lack of trust for self, life and others.

I am sure I am not the only one who has felt a victim to big business or to a partner or to a stranger who acts badly. However I wonder if I am one of the few that honours the hurt and really believes it can change. For the history of humanity we have bought the whole seperation thing. Because we believe in pain and struggle and seperation this is exactly what we receive much of the time. I am sick of all the manipulation and lack of integrity in society. However I know whenever I am insecure and needy that I am contributing to the pain and the violence. Really think it is time that humans swapped the self absorption for self awareness.

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