Use but not Abuse

Tony Ryan - Wednesday, October 06, 2010

I am forever pondering human nature. I keep searching as I believe there is meaning to life and that any individual can attain fulfillment in life. A term I often think of is abundance. In my own life I have felt abundant many times but for the majority have felt lacking and in need. The more I search my own inner state of being the more I am coming to believe that there is such a thing as perfect balance.

 

I believe perfect balance is an energy of sorts that every human has access to. That if we slow down enough in body and thought that we can communicate clearly with this energy and make decisions that provide optimal fulfillment. Further I believe that any 2 people interacting from this perfect balance place will have no need to compromise themselves or each other in any way.

 

Whilst this writing and the concept of perfect balance is just a feeling I am very confident that it is also a reality. So often in life we humans are stressed and self absorbed and grasping for external things to fulfill us.Further the more we value an external the more we want to possess it and fear losing it. However if we were living in abundance I believe the need would quieten down and our relationships with externals would change greatly.

 

As I see it the abundant human being would then see externals as creations for joy rather than things that they desperately need to fulfill them. From this perspective they may be using other humans and other externals but in a fully conscious and transparent way. From a deeper perspective if there is a God why would he or she create anything external if it was not with the intention of improving his or her experience of existence?

 

I believe that if humans made it a priority to enjoy life and to communicate transparently about their experiences that life would significantly improve. Many people I know have suggested to me that if everyone was honest and transparent that life would be boring. Whilst this may be so my gut feel is that this would not be the case. I think if people were dedicated to being self aware and dedicated to making open communication a priority that life would be one exciting creation and experience after another.

 

This particular piece of writing was inspired by an intimate encounter I had today. I have been intimate with this lady a few times before and we are not in a monogamous relationship. Each time we have been together the feeling has been incredibly fulfilling and exciting. Today she asked me if I would feel let down if at some stage the intimacy was not as exciting as before. I said I had definitely thought of this but believe that depth, communication and balance is the key.

 

As it was I had an amazing time today and when our intimacy was finished felt incredible. Later in the day I was eating some hot chips I had ordered and was also so enjoying this sensory experience. Got me thinking that I was using the woman and the chips to provide me with sensory joy. However also realized that provided I am in the moment and conscious of the relationship that I am gaining benefit not just in my physical senses but also in my spiritual self. That I am in this way in gratitude to the woman, the chips and anything else in relationship that I am respecting.

 

Think we humans are conditioned to fear hurting others and also conditioned to fear being hurt. However if we embraced any fears and made experience and communication a key that hurt would be drastically minimized. Today I knew I had enjoyed the chips and had also had enough. By stopping eating the chips and eating something else or going to another activity is not in any way rejecting or lessening the value of the chips. Similarly enjoying intimacy at the deepest possible level and then moving to a different activity is not rejecting the women or the intimate experience.

 

I can imagine some people will see this rationale as flawed. However I believe that if humans communicate deeply enough with themselves and with others that hurt will be avoided. Sex and intimacy and romantic relationships are such a powerful human relationship experiences. If communication is not undertaken with such powerful experiences then hurt will be created. However if we can cast aside our need to protect ourselves and each other from hurt the communication will bring a deep understanding of and respect for relationships.

 

From this place we can make life and experiences sacred. We can cease to feel guilt for enjoying life and can use each other and all external creations for open joy and fulfillment. To my mind it is only confusion and need that creates the deep pain that has littered human relationships. Time to really go super deep to ask what we are living for and do all we can to live life with passion, honesty and open communication.

 

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